


I have a Plan

by Skaikru1017



Series: Cracks(Ish) [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Bellarke, F/M, Kabby, Modern Setting, Parent Shaming, Slight Dad!Kink, dad jokes, my first crack, pre-existing relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-25 00:50:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9794990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skaikru1017/pseuds/Skaikru1017
Summary: This is a pure crack fic. Kabby is the ultimate parenting duo. I think this would do them a little justice. Warning explicit language (cussing)





	

Clarke had just returned home from college, Bellamy in tow. She was currently upstairs, Marcus was making small talk with the boy she had brought home. Realising she forgot where all the hangers were she called for her step-father’s help.

[Clarke]”Hey daddy?’

[Marcus & Bellamy ~in unison~]”Yes?”

Her father gives the boy standing next to him an incredulous look, as if he was checking for confirmation on what just happened. The quick slap of Bell’s palm to his forehead answered all the questions he had.

[Marcus]”CLARKE!” Downstairs, Now!”

[Bellamy~Whispering~]”Fuck my life.”

The boy thought he had spoken only to himself but the exasperated state he was in didn’t lead to clear thinking.

[Marcus]”I believe she already has.”

Marcus tried his best to keep from laughing. Most parents would be furious, but he wasn’t most parents, and she was a 26 year-old girl. Her relationship with anyone wasn’t as to concerning to him any more. Besides he trusted the oldest Blake child, but he wanted to have as much fun with this as possible , especially since abby would be home soon.

[Marcus]”Clarke normally when your father tells you to do something, no matter how old you are, you do it. Yeah don’t think I didn’t see your hair from around the corner. I am a detective after all.”

[Clarke]”How much trouble am I in?”

[Marcus]”That depends on what your mother says, and shouldn’t you be more worried about what I’m gonna do to him? I am a cop after all.” 

[Clarke]”Dad that’s against the law.”

[Marcus]”I am the law.”

He is enjoying this too much,but the slamming of a car door in the driveway catches his attention, sputtering fragments of the rest of his plan into action.

[Marcus]”That would be your mother, living room, both of you. Now. Your mother and a I will be out to talk to you in a few minutes.”

He says that in the most “angry dad” voice he possibly can, still trying not to burst out laughing. Walking casually to the door to greet his wife and spill his diabolical plan. He swings the door open right as she was about the turn the knob causing her to jump back.

[Abby]”Marcus what the hell are you doing, shouldn’t you be at the precinct still?”

[Marcus]”Shhh. Clarkes here and she brought Bellamy, but you will never guess what just happened.”

[Abby]”Oh, did you hear some interesting gossip while you were at work?”

Marcus frowns at her sarcasm, the pair didn’t do much “adulting” in moments like this. So he fired a shot right back at her.

[Marcus]”Yeah, apparently the newbie thinks I look pretty hot in my uniform.”

She didn’t turn green, but she was obviously jealous. She was very “territorial” with him and he found it hilarious, often using it against her. 

[Marcus]”I’m kidding, Cops don’t gossip. Now follow me, I have a plan.”

He didn’t even wait for a response before grabbing her hand and pulling her into the nearest room, which happened to be home office Abby used for her paperwork.

He told her everything, speaking like an excited teenager that had just found out well, the latest gossip.

She started laughing, extremely loud, but before the sound had a chance to carry he placed his hand to her mouth and raising a finger to his lips, signaling her to be quiet.

[Abby]”Mrcs wt th el,” she tried to speak with his hand still on her mouth but the words were inaudible, removing the obstruction she hissed a few words at him. “Marcus what the hell are you doing.”

[Marcus]”Like I said I have a plan.”

It wasn’t much of a plan, he really just wanted to go with the flow, but a little structure wouldn’t hurt.

(Switch to Clarke’s POV)

[Clarke]”It’s quiet. They haven’t yelled or anything.”  
[Bellamy]”That’s a good thing right? I don’t wana die.”

[Clarke]”We’re either going to get super lucky and nothing happens. Or we’re gonna get fucked sideways by the combined wrath of my parents.”

[Bellamy]”I am so dead. I don’t wana die Clarke. He’s gonna kill me and no one will be able to prove it.”

[Clarke]”Calm down dumbass, you’re not the only one who’s gonna get murdered.”

That’s when the yelling started.

(Back To Marcus’ POV)

[Abby~yelling~]”He said what!”

[Abby~yelling~]”I thought you said we could trust him, what the hell is wrong with him she’s a little girl.”

[Marcus~angry dad voice~]”I know, I thought I could trust him too. I cannot believe this is happening.”

[Abby~whispering~]”Do you think it’s working? Should we take it to the next level?”

[Marcus~whispering~]”Let’s do it.”

[Abby~back to yelling~]”This is your fault, I can’t fucking believe this.”

[Marcus~yelling~]”My fault? My fault? How the hell is this my fault?”

[Abby~yelling~]”If you had just listened…”

[Marcus~dad voice again~]”WE will finish this later. There are bigger problems to deal with.”

[Abby~mom voice (which is even scarier)~]”God, at least there’s one thing we can agree on for fucks sake you are so stubborn.”

(Clarkes POV)

[Clarke]”We are so dead. Well, It’s been nice knowing you Blake.”

 

Her attempt to lighten the mood with never ending sarcasm fails miserably. She stretches out her hand in an attempt to shake his, but he doesn't notice. The boy’s knees are to his chest and he’s staring blankly at the wall in front of him. His features show nothing at all, meaning he’s petrified.

(Marcus’ POV)

The husband-wife tag team are standing menacingly cross-armed in front of the two kids. Soaking in every terrified detail in their faces. It takes all the strength within them to keep from bursting with laughter.

Marcus’ voice was calm and unrevealing, something he knew terrified any child. A parent so furious they didn’t show it was surely doom to be.

[Abby]”Clarke, I don’t even know what to say other than how utterly disappointed I am. I thought we raised you better than that.”

[Marcus]”And you. I thought I could trust you Blake. Thought you would remember that she’s my little girl. This is …. god I don’t even know what to say.”

[Clarke]”I’m not little anymore, that stopped a long time ago.”

[Marcus]”You have, and always will be my little girl, size isn’t a factor in that. No matter how “big” you think you are.”

[Abby]”And the fact you didn’t think to even tell us about him, we thought you guys were just friends. What a great way to find out about our daughter's relationship, wouldn’t you agree Marcus.”

[Marcus]”Quite a fine first Impression If I do say so myself.”

She smirks and turns to her husband, ready to execute the final phase.

[Abby]”What are we going to do with them? Your a cop, you have experience with this. You decide.”

[Marcus]”I hope you two like old movies, because you’re going to be seeing a lot of them over the next two weeks.”

[Bellamy]”That’s not what I was expecting to hear. I guess I’m not going to be an unsolved murder case.”

The phrase was meant to come from the humor part of Bellamy’s brain, but his features were still blank and his voice was pure monotone.  
[Abby]”What about a trip to the ancient cultures museum? Lot’s of dust and old stuff.”

[Clarke]”Wait a minute, wait just one minute. I know what you two are doing. That’s just evil you guys.”

[Bellamy~panicked~]”Wait, what are they plotting, I thought we were moderately safe?”

[Clarke]”My assholes, *cough* I mean parents have been playing us the whole time. They aren't pissed. Look at his face, if he were angry his eyebrows would look a lot stupider.”

[Abby]”Took you long enough, and I told you so. Babe you don’t near as angry as you should.”

[Marcus]”Sorry, I’ll try harder next time.”

[Bellamy]”So.. You guys really aren’t gonna kill me?”

[Marcus]”Nope, It’s against the law.”

[Bellamy]”I thought you were the law?”

Bellamy felt comfortable again, his comic side finally resurfacing, but this comment may have been a mistake.

[Marcus]”I am, and I will not hesitate to arrest you. I can put these handcuffs on whoever I want, I could charge you with practically anything right now and get away with it.”

He spoke the words perfectly, draining the color from the boy’s face instantly. 

The End


End file.
